Home Sweet Home

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”— Maya Angelou

I did it!  I found a home! It's beautiful and cozy and sweet and happy and it's just the sort of house I imagined for myself.  It was built by the seller's grandfather in the 40's. He owned a sawmill that made doors. So he used his "extras" from unclaimed door orders in his own house.  No two doors/door-frames are the same size. He used red oak for the floor throughout the house, even in the kitchen. The baseboards and moldings are generous with deep windowsills, stained to match the floors. I have a vestibule (!) with windowed doors. The house has a rather unremarkable exterior, but inside it's an adorable cottage with bright yellow kitchen cabinets that line the length of the large kitchen. We moved in June and couldn't be happier with our new home.  At last, I am home.

 

1JJ Swiss Tarot Created by Stuart Kaplan
Tarot Deck - 78 Cards - AGM-Urania 1970

The "Congrats! You did it" card in tarot is The World. As I wrote in "The Spiral World" the World card is about those times on our journey when we overcome obstacles, complete an objective successfully and feel joy, freedom and a sense of accomplishment.  But with every accomplishment is a new beginning, a new level, a new set of challenges to face. As a homeowner, I am responsible for repairs, improvements, maintenance, insurance, trash pickup, and all that comes with having a home of one's own.  There's a learning experience almost weekly here but I'm welcoming even the hard stuff.

Tarot of Dürer
Created by Giacinto Gaudenzi Published by Lo Scarabeo

It begins as this 4 of Wands from the Tarot of Durer, a dream on a foundation. The woman's expression in this card is hilarious.  She's all "Yeah, yeah, whatever. We've got four poles and a lion skin rug. This is not a house. Let me close my eyes to try and imagine because this ain't it." It reminds me of the many houses we toured and tried to envision as our own but which were inadequate and in need of work beyond our means. 

Housewives Tarot Created by Paul Kepple
Tarot Deck - 78 Cards - Quirk Books

It ends in 4 of Wands moments like this one from The Housewives Tarot.  Moments of bliss like the housewarming party when my family brought laughter and love and blessed my home with appreciation and most of all, their presence.  Friends hanging out on the back porch into the night, lit only by a garden torch and the glow of cigarettes.  Crockpot buffets, friends sitting at the kitchen table creating their own culinary delights to share, all of us smooshed together on the living room sofa and loveseat.  Hauling the extra chairs in from the kitchen so we can all be together in one room. Scooting past laughing people in my kitchen to reach the refrigerator to get someone a beer.  It is nothing short of delightful.





Also delightful are the quiet starry skies I find myself drinking in while sitting on my back porch by myself.  How starved I had been for outside space while  living our apartment life! We didn't have even a balcony there. I'm dotted with mosquito bites but I am undeterred from watching the fireflies dance and rise from the grass in my back yard.  As the evenings chill I am to be found wrapped in a quilt on the porch enjoying the outside until inevitably the cold forces me back inside.

When Habitat for Humanity -- a non-profit that builds homes for people and families in need of a decent and affordable home -- asked Habitat homeowners "What does home mean to you?" the most often repeated word I noticed among the answers was "stability."  Fours in tarot mean exactly that. The 4 of Wands stability is unique because of the fire element in the Wands suit. Fire, by nature, must be continuously fed to produce heat, light, energy.  Likewise, the stability of a home must be continuously nourished with the ongoing process of homekeeping -- everything from maintenance and repairs, decorating and landscaping to entertaining and making memories with friends and family.

Wands symbolize the energetic force behind creativity and bringing things dreamed into being.  Our homes are rich with personal investment and expression. One might think a house should be represented by the suit of Pentacles, made of earthly substance such as wood and stone. But houses are more than that. They shelter us and speak of our identity. They offer warmth and safety, but also frustration and grief.  They serve as a place where we are safe to pursue and express our creativity, devote our energies, and nurture the soul as well as the body.  How very Wands-like.

I'll close this with a song that kept me going through the long and arduous search.  Enjoy.

Home
Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors, Bebe Rexha
Atlantic Records
from Bright the Album





* This article was originally published here